A (secret) Superpower of Great Fundraisers

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Years ago, I was preparing a briefing event for a charity. It was high-stakes. There were going to be major givers, key stakeholders, and leadership all in one room. The natural choice to emcee? The CEO.

But my spidey senses started tingling. That would be a mistake.

The CEO was passionate, a great storyteller, and deeply respected. But I realized the most effective choice was me. Not because I had a bigger personality or title, but because I could set the CEO - and the charity - up for success by keeping the meeting focused, engaging, and on track.

Because the best facilitator? It’s not necessarily the most senior person in the room. It’s the person who ensures the right conversations happen, people stay engaged, and the agenda moves forward. On time and with purpose.

Why Well-Run Meetings Matter in Major Gift Fundraising

Meetings are where relationships are built, trust is reinforced, and vision is cast. They’re where decisions are made. A well-run meeting can be the difference between a potential giver walking away inspired or feeling as though they just wasted an hour.

The best major gift fundraisers I know? They run great meetings (shout outs to so many who have taught and modeled this for me over the years: Phill, Paul, David, Gary, Milton, Dan, Ron, Heather, Johanna, Dawn, Cornel, Kathryn, Aaron, Chivo, Gordon, Taneli, Chris, Cari, Dallas, Patrick, Bill, Amy, Buddy, Cherise, Rob, Brian, Randy, Todd, Steve, Andy, Shelley, Jonathan, Ashley, Caleb, and the list goes on… You all know how to keep things tight and effective!)

Patrick Lencioni, in Death by Meeting, argues that most meetings are boring because they lack drama and clarity - making attendance feel like an obligation rather than an opportunity. In fundraising, we can’t afford that. Our meetings must be thoughtfully prepared to engage, focus, and move people toward action.

And here’s the good news: it’s a learned skill. With practice, you can hone it and steadily improve. That was certainly true for me. Here are a few essentials I use to run a great meeting:

1. Everyone Understands the Purpose

Every meeting must have a clear objective. Are we here to update a giver on impact? Explore a partnership? Prepare for an ask? If people don’t know why they’re in the room, they’ll mentally check out before you even begin.

For larger meetings, state (or restate) the purpose upfront - because the bigger the group, the more likely someone is unsure why they’re there.

For one-on-one meetings, start with something like this: I’d like to propose an idea for your feedback and potential participation. It’s a simple statement that makes a huge difference.

2. Respect the Clock

One of the fastest ways to lose credibility is to overstay your welcome. If someone has given you 45 minutes, honor that hard stop. (I had a fundraising friend who overstayed by three hours once 🫣)

Here’s a structure I use:

• First: Connection and catch-up
• Second: Discussion and consideration
• Third: Next steps and follow-up

Sometimes, the discussion phase is short. Other times, it may include a formal presentation.

If you’re running over, pause and check in: I see we’re close to time - would you like to continue or schedule a follow-up? This allows them to feel respected and in control.

3. Honor Each Participant

People want to be heard. They want to know their input matters.

We’ve all been in meetings where one person dominates, leaving others silent. Not good. When this happens, call a “time-out” to draw others in:

• Sarah, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
• John, from your experience, how do you see this playing out?

Even in one-on-one meetings, I remind myself: I’m not here to talk at them. I’m here to engage them.

4. Check in Regularly

It’s easy to assume people are following along. That assumption is dangerous.

A simple Is this making sense? can bring misunderstandings to the surface before they become problems.

And if you notice someone is disengaged, ask: I’d love to hear what’s on your mind about this. More often than not, they are just waiting for an opening to share.

Facilitating good meetings is a fundraising superpower

This isn’t about charisma or control - it’s about creating space for meaningful conversations. When done well, meetings become moments where relationships deepen, clarity emerges, and generosity is activated.

The next time you step into a meeting, ask yourself:
✅ Do I have a clear purpose?
✅ Am I respecting their time?
✅ Am I making space for everyone to contribute?
✅ Am I checking in to ensure we’re aligned?

The best fundraisers don’t just show up to meetings.

They lead them.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your stories and insights on this.

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If you haven't taken advantage of some of the resources I've created to help major gift fundraisers, take a look now!  Initial calls with me are free and "no strings attached".  Sometimes folks feel like they need to wait and not 'bother' me until they have a pressing issue.  No need for that...just make the call. 🕺

‍Here's where you can access a lot of content for free:

‍* Follow me on LinkedIn - You'll get short pro-tips and reflections on major gift fundraising every day between 5-7am pacific.

* Breakthru Newsletter - As you've seen here, these are longer weekly posts (audio and written) sent directly to your email.

* Breakthru Blog - the newsletter from the previous week gets posted here each week for everyone (so email subscribers get it a week early).

* Breakthru Podcast - Interviews with high net worth givers about how we as fundraisers can get better at inviting them to the party.  And audio readings of Breakthru Blog posts.

‍Before getting to the PAID stuff: My opinion is that no small ministry with a tight budget should be spending more than $3-5k (total) for major gift coaching/consulting.  Most of you will be good-to-go spending far less than that.  This was a major issue for me when I was a frontline fundraiser - major gift consultants were an expensive 'black-box-of-confusion' for me.  That stops now.

‍Here's the PAID stuff:

‍* Online Catalyst Course - This is a full brain dump of my 28+ years of experience - good, bad, ugly.  It's built around the fundamentals, the sacredness, and the fun, of major gift fundraising.  It's infused with Henri Nouwen reflections.  Many people can take this course and they will be 'cooking-with-gas' and not need any additional coaching from me on the core systems.  I'm grateful that this course has gotten *great* reviews.

* Live coaching with me - I refer to this as "brain rental".  The ROI on live coaching, as you might imagine, is extraordinary.

Finally, be sure to connect with my colleague Ivana Salloum.  She's super awesome and can help with scheduling and access to resources, etc.

I look forward to hearing about your good work!

Blessings,