Am I Scaring People?

As far as I could tell my relationship with Mary was in good stead. Over the eight months since our first meeting, we shared some meals and had several phone calls.  Mary told me about her family, business activities, charitable interests, and hobbies.  During our second face to face meeting, she expressed interest in some of the projects our cause was engaged in,  and was considering making a financial investment.

After our last meeting (where I presented a financial ask for a specific project) Mary “ghosted” me.  Or so I thought.  Racking my brain, I wondered what  might have happened.  My imagination ran wild.  “Did I scare her?  Is this par for the course?  Was I pushing too hard?”

In the realm of major gift fundraising, the line between being perceived as a guide and a pushy fundraiser can sometimes feel indiscernible. The journey of working with potential givers on significant financial contributions can leave even the most seasoned professionals wondering where they stand in the relationship. However, when navigated with empathy, transparency, and genuine enthusiasm for the cause, fundraisers can transform this fear into a powerful opportunity for connection and impact.

The Role of a Guide

Imagine for a moment that you're not just a fundraiser, but rather a guide journeying toward a meaningful change. Your role isn't to coerce or push; it's to illuminate the path, showing donors the impact their contributions can make. You're there to cast vision and present possibilities, revealing how their generosity can be the key that unlocks a brighter future for the cause you both care about.

Building Trust Through Transparency

Transparency is the cornerstone of any trusting relationship, and this holds especially true in fundraising. Donors want to know where their money is going and the difference it makes. By sharing stories of impact, detailed reports, and even the challenges your organization faces (especially the challenges), you're inviting donors into a transparent partnership. This approach not only alleviates fear of the unknown but also reinforces the idea that their contribution is part of a collaborative effort towards a shared goal.

Enthusiasm That Is Invitational

Your passion for the cause is a powerful tool. When your enthusiasm shines through in every interaction, it's infectious.  Passion and enthusiasm must be invitational rather than ‘salesy’. People don’t like to feel pressured; instead, let your intent be to inspire and honor them by your invitation. This authenticity transforms a transactional relationship into a transformative partnership.

Your Imagination is Not The Final Narrative…(not even close)

I want to encourage you not to give in to the narrative that you have made a blunder of some sort and scared them away.  In my 30 years of experience that has rarely been the case.

Remember my friend Mary?  Here’s the good news:

• After not getting a return call or text from her for more than three weeks, I took a step back, realizing there could be many reasons she wasn’t responding.  And me scaring her was highly unlikely to be on that list.
• I went back to my notes about previous discussions where she talked about milestones (business and personal) and other things in her life outside of the gift consideration.  I found that in one of our conversations Mary revealed  she was organizing a massive reunion between her family in Michigan and Finland.  She had “ghosted” me right in the timeframe of planning this big event!  All of the sudden it made sense.
• I regrouped and thought about some ways I could communicate with her, acknowledging the excitement and sacredness of their epic reunion.
• My next text communication went something like this:  “Mary!  I completely forgot that you are in the midst of organizing the big Korhonen family reunion in Helsinki!  Praying and excited for you and your family.  I look forward to seeing pictures and hearing all about it.  Blessings, J.Paul”

About a week later I received a text from her:  “J.Paul thanks so much!  It is a crazy adventure… so many details I hadn’t thought about😱  But it will be great.  I haven’t forgotten our discussions and your proposal.  It will have to wait until I’ve got this gathering in my rearview mirror.”  I hit the thumbs up emoji on that text!  We were back in touch after her family gathering and she made her first major gift to our cause later that year.

That’s obviously a happy-ending-story.  There were other times when people changed their minds, financial capacity changed, or experienced resistance from some family members, etc.  Rarely was it because I scared them!

In upcoming newsletters I will elaborate more on strategies you can use to strengthen and guide your relationships with all donors.  You are doing amazing work.  You are not scary.  By positioning yourself as a guide, championing transparency, and sharing your genuine enthusiasm with an invitational posture, you're not a source of fear but a beacon of hope.

God bless you all and see you next week.

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The following information has changed a bit so don't skip over it!  I now have the following options to energize and multiply your efforts in major gift fundraising

* The Catalyst Course - an online course for those who are tasked with major gift fundraising.  The cost is $500 and you can take it at your own pace.  This is the full enchilada - everything I have learned and succeeded and failed at over the years.  The reviews on this course have been outstanding.  The return on investment is exponential.

* The Catalyst Course, "Bitesize" style.  Don't feel like you need the whole course?  It's now available in separate modules or sessions which you can engage for as little as $50.  Some of my most popular teachings are on "Systems" (in the Fundamentals module) and "The Ask" (in the Sacred module).

* Live Coaching.  Or as I sometimes call it, "Brain Rental".  I'm not going to be modest here.  When people rent my brain to talk about major gift fundraising strategies, they have a significant return on investment.  It's $400 per 90m session and if you purchase 6 or more sessions up front you get a sweet discount.  Let me know if you're interested.

I look forward to hearing about your good work.

Blessings,