I Feel Like a Scam Artist
Those were the provocative words spoken by my colleague after returning to our hotel. I was confused, to say the least. We had just completed a major gift presentation to a top donor. The donor was not arrogant or pushy. Their requests seemed thoughtful and reasonable. The whole experience was not perfect, nor was it humiliating or off-putting.
So what might have caused this response from my colleague? I certainly didn’t love the implication about my choice of profession.
But I knew my colleague well. We had been through a lot together and I was aware of his tendency to use extreme and dramatic statements when trying to make a point. Although I believed he didn’t truly think we were behaving like scam artists, it seemed important not to ignore his words. This guy was my boss. Was I headed down the same jaded road in my career?
I’ve thought a great deal about this experience. Here is what I’ve come to believe:
As major donor fundraisers, we can fall into a rut of “asking and expecting”.
This is a trap which leads to cynicism, resentment, and dissatisfaction.
What does it mean to “ask and expect” of major donors? If you feel your enjoyment of the job ebbing, check for the following signs that can indicate you’re headed down the wrong path:
🙄You approach meetings with a sense of entitlement…
😬You believe the wealthy “owe” their money to your cause…
🤑You objectify them as purely the funder while you are the implementer…
🤗You cave to every demand of the donor, believing you don’t have a choice…
🥸You become insecure in your role as a fundraiser, masking it by feigning competency…
How can we rise above these negative outcomes? Let’s be honest. It can be a constant challenge. Your success at the job is consistently dependent on whether or not people other than you decide to be very generous. As my kids would say, that blows.
Let me propose an alternative to “ask and expect”. As suggested by a friend with deep experience in major donor fundraising…
Make it a practice to invite and involve.
I love that. What does it mean to “invite and involve”? Here are some suggestions:
🙏Approach meetings with a sense of gratitude…
🎗️Believe that wealthy people are uniquely positioned to bless the world around them…
🤝Seek to understand the non-financial gifts they can contribute to the cause…
👊Respect them as fellow human beings and value their ideas without pandering…
💪Be secure and transparent in your role especially when things seem confusing, contradictory, or don’t align with your cause.
My hope and prayer is that you choose to “invite and involve”. I understand the complexity. The choice is not always easy. But it’s worth the effort to keep this a sacred vocation.
Many of you responded to last week’s newsletter with comments and thoughts. Thank you! Keep ‘em coming!
Until next time…
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I look forward to hearing about your good work.
Blessings,
