Stop Whining and Start Leading

(Thanks to Seth Godin for his prompt which inspired this guide)

Does this sound familiar?  As CEO of an amazing charity, you just finished another board meeting, and now feel physically sick.  Fundraising efforts have not produced the results you were hoping for.  The message from your board was this:  “The funds are not coming in like we anticipated.”

Well, what do you know? Captain Obvious (the board chair) and Lieutenant Self-Evident (the treasurer) are actually paying attention. It’s a sick burn on those precious volunteers, but I’m not sorry to say it. I’ve served on boards for nearly 30 years, and not only have I witnessed this, I’ve been party to it.

For board members and governing leaders of charities who are doing transforming work all over the world, I have a simple two word exhortation for you when it comes to whining about fundraising results…

Stop it.

Here's Bob Newhart to bring the point home...

Whining about the obvious will not solve challenges in fundraising - it’s what we do after acknowledging the problem that defines us. As leaders, let’s rise above the noise.

To help you move beyond degenerating into a “Detective-No-Duh” board member, here are five ways to lead with courage, generosity, and action - making things better instead of perpetuating negativity and anxiety:

1. Reframe the Narrative

Instead of lamenting the challenges, celebrate the opportunities. Is the staff team struggling to reach their financial goals? Shift the conversation to how every dollar raised is making an impact.

Board members, ask yourself this question: “What stories of transformation can I share this week?” A simple, heartfelt story of a life changed can reignite the passion of givers and team members alike.

By the way, if you haven’t seen it yet, check out the movie “The Man Who Invented Christmas”. This historical fiction tells the story of Charles Dickens’ writing “A Christmas Carol”.  It offers a fabulous illustration of this point.

2. Equip Your CEO and Staff Leaders

Nothing screams “Debbie Downer!” like complaining board members who don’t equip their staff with solutions. Take a proactive approach: invest in training, provide clear goals, and create a culture of gratitude. Encourage brainstorming sessions focused on creative ways to engage givers. Help to discover untapped potential among your connectors.

Board member action step: Recognize some specific, small wins and help other board members do the same.

3. Build Strength in Relationships

Whining about financial gaps often stems from weak connections. Instead of grumbling about a lack of funds, invest in relational rapport. How can you help your CEO with their portfolio? Relationships are the foundation of major gift fundraising.

Board members, ask yourself these questions:

• Do I understand our top givers' passions and priorities
• Have I helped our CEO communicate recent successes to our top givers?

4. Be a Role Model of Resilience

Your attitude sets the tone for everyone around you. Instead of being the leader who is known for airing frustrations, be one who shows grace under pressure. Share your challenges with a mindset of problem-solving. You might be tempted to say, "We’ll never hit that goal." But next time try this, "Let’s pull together to reach 80% - and then see if we can stretch beyond."

Board member reminder: Resilience is contagious. When you model it, your CEO and team are more likely to emulate it.

5. Act with Generosity and Boldness

Whining can sometimes be rooted in fear of failure, rejection, or loss. Generosity flips the script. When you approach your work with an open hand and a bold spirit, it invites others to do the same. Instead of worrying about what you lack, celebrate what you have and how it might grow.

Board member action step: Reflect on where you can "swing for the fences" this quarter. Is there a bold ask or a new approach worth exploring?  See more detailed thoughts here.

I know that serving as a board member is not for the faint of heart. Be willing to keep walking forward, despite the storm. This work rewards the long game.  You can (and should) acknowledge when things don’t appear to be working, just do it with a constructive posture. The problem with whining is that you're just standing still.

So, board members, how will you step forward this week? What actions will you take to inspire generosity and build momentum? We all know it’s raining. Instead of announcing the obvious to your CEO, let them discover you outside planting seeds for tomorrow’s harvest.

When you have a chance, check out this great post from Gail Perry on her New Year’s Resolutions for Board Members.

Happy New Year!  I pray it’s getting off to a good start already!

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If you haven't taken advantage of some of the resources I've created to help major gift fundraisers, take a look now!  Initial calls with me are free and "no strings attached".  Sometimes folks feel like they need to wait and not 'bother' me until they have a pressing issue.  No need for that...just make the call. 🕺

‍Here's where you can access a lot of content for free:

‍* Follow me on LinkedIn - You'll get short pro-tips and reflections on major gift fundraising every day between 5-7am pacific.

* Breakthru Newsletter - As you've seen here, these are longer weekly posts (audio and written) sent directly to your email.

* Breakthru Blog - the newsletter from the previous week gets posted here each week for everyone (so email subscribers get it a week early).

* Breakthru Podcast - Interviews with high net worth givers about how we as fundraisers can get better at inviting them to the party.  And audio readings of Breakthru Blog posts.

‍Before getting to the PAID stuff: My opinion is that no small ministry with a tight budget should be spending more than $3-5k (total) for major gift coaching/consulting.  Most of you will be good-to-go spending far less than that.  This was a major issue for me when I was a frontline fundraiser - major gift consultants were an expensive 'black-box-of-confusion' for me.  That stops now.

‍Here's the PAID stuff:

‍* Online Catalyst Course - This is a full brain dump of my 28+ years of experience - good, bad, ugly.  It's built around the fundamentals, the sacredness, and the fun, of major gift fundraising.  It's infused with Henri Nouwen reflections.  Many people can take this course and they will be 'cooking-with-gas' and not need any additional coaching from me on the core systems.  I'm grateful that this course has gotten *great* reviews.

* Live coaching with me - I refer to this as "brain rental".  The ROI on live coaching, as you might imagine, is extraordinary.

Finally, be sure to connect with my colleague Ivana Salloum.  She's super awesome and can help with scheduling and access to resources, etc.

I look forward to hearing about your good work!

Blessings,